My younger sister, all of fourteen, recently complained to be because she doesn’t have a boyfriend and all of her friends do. She’s frustrated and longs to experience the feelings that her friends are having. As the older sister I gave her the mandatory pep talk; not having a boyfriend is just fine and how she should can look positively at her single state.

When we finished talking I got to thinking about high school versus the adult world. High school can be wonderful but more often it’s just brutal; a microcosm of the adult world. Both worlds deal with bosses (teachers) who can be oppressive and unreasonable. We’d rather be out having fun than fulfilling our obligations. And we do it surrounded by couples, but teenagers do it all in one stifling building. No wonder they think their world sucks.

I also realized that not a lot changes between groups of females, even as we grow older. Though we try not to, we still compare our lives to those of our contemporaries. Clothes, homes, careers and especially our love lives; all are put side by side and evaluated.

We’re all familiar with the feelings that come with coveting something a friend has and by this point in our lives, I assume with optimism that we all know (at least in theory) how to transfer that jealous energy into positive motivation to make changes in our own lives; envying a pal’s awesome promotion could instigate renewed dedication to furthering your own careers, et cetera.

While it’s not difficult to channel your jealousy where promotions or living space is concerned, it’s much more difficult when it comes to relationships. When we see our friends happily attached it only brings home the poignancy that you’re neither. The green eyed monster is in overdrive.

Not only are you a victim of your own jealousy, but your friends with boyfriends or husbands become victims as well. Think of it this way. When you meet someone new and wonderful and become part of a happy couple, who do you want to share it with? Your friends! You also want them to share your happiness and be happy for you.

While most of friends will do both, there is often one exception. This friend will find your happiness very difficult to swallow as it reminds them of their own single status. They’re bitter about it, wallow in it, and have no qualms about letting you know it. To them I say knock it off! It’s selfish, and makes it hard to be happy.

My advice: address the problem directly. If you have that one friend is us perpetually single, endlessly bitching about it, and unnecessarily making you feel guilty for being happily affiliated, it’s time for an intervention. Don’t throw accusations and get upset; she’s in a vulnerable position and her behavior is indicative that she’s already not feeling too hot about herself. Try not to make it sound like you’re angry, or that she’s going to lose you as a friend but do be clear. You are allowed to be happy.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands more helpful dating posts.